My Spiritual Home - A Church OF Christ not about Christ

In August my family began attending church at the Community of Christ (aka RLDS). I was a bundle of nerves that day. As we approached the building a woman behind us let us know that the sign on the door said "use other door" just meant the other half of the double door we were facing. We opened the door and walked in. Immediately two women seemed to rush forward and introduce themselves to us. The one thing I noticed about each of these women was the quiet strength which seemed to flow from them. One woman introduced herself as the Pastor. I'd met other women pastors before so I wasn't too surprised. But what did surprise me was the feeling of confirmation that she was called to her position. The second woman stepped forward and introduced herself as well. Love seemed to flow from her and I could feel immediate acceptance. We entered the Sanctuary and sat down for Sunday School - wooden pews with movable cushions to sit on. We were welcomed by those around us. My husband has a friend at this congregation and he came over to welcome us.

I thought how unlike attending a new ward when you are LDS. Most people just ignore you until some Relief Society or Elders Quorum President notices you, singles you out, and makes you introduce yourself to the entire room. Something I hated even when I was more extroverted in my younger years.

After this amazing welcoming experience Sunday School began. My 13yo daughter was asked if she wanted to join the kids or the adults. She opted to join the adults. I looked around the room to take in the kind of people who attend the congregation. I saw the woman who we saw outside, a young couple, a smattering of older, possibly single women, and this older gentleman with long white hair and a long white beard. It was quite the eclectic bunch.

I heard someone walk in and I glanced behind me to see who it was. As the group wasn't very big it was easy to make eye contact with everyone. In walked this sweet looking young couple with a small child. Somehow I knew she would understand where I was coming from. As I listened to the discussion I realized that a discussion is exactly what it was. My husband's friend was leading this amazing discussion on a scripture passage. People disagreed but at the same time they respected others right to feel the way they did. I'd never experienced such an enlightened discussion in my 23  years of adulthood within the LDS Church. I found myself joining in. Even my husband and my 13 year old shared their thoughts. My 13 year old was shown love and respect for her thoughts and opinions. Something she had repeatedly told me she didn't feel when attending Young Women's.

Through out the lesson I continually felt as if someone sitting behind me to my left kept talking to me. But not a soul was there. The 2 or 3 pews behind us were all empty on the left hand side. This person kept telling me that I'd finally found it. That I was in the right place. That it was good I was there. And that they were happy I'd come home. My heart was overflowing with joy.

All too soon the lesson ended. Some of the women started talking about the April General Conference and I couldn't help but join in. These women understood what I was feeling and shared some of my frustrations. Before I knew it I was being given information for the upcoming Ladies Night in a few days. As my 18 year old was home not feeling well I couldn't wait to get home to her and tell her all about it.

Then the worship service started. I knew this would be a whole new world. There was the Call to Peace that gave me the same feeling as I had when I attended the funeral of a teacher at my children's school who had passed away a few years earlier. This teacher was Ute and the drums were played at her funeral. It was that same primal call to center ones self with the divine. The worship service wasn't too different than the ones I attended at a Granger Christian Church. There they too have a woman pastor and a great feeling of peace.

When the meeting came to an end I wanted to cry. I didn't want it to be over. I wanted it to go on all day. At the same time I was eager to get home and tell my 18 year old all about the amazing experience we had. As we were found ourselves back in the foyer I saw the display with all sorts of pamphlets about Community of Christ. There was also some copies of their version of the Doctrine and Covenants. I grabbed one curious to see the difference.

When we arrived at home I was completely energized. I talked like mad to my daughter and then suddenly felt the need to visit my mom. So off we went to see my mom.  My mom had known for years that I had struggled with the LDS Church but she supported me with my goals to be a "worthy member" even though she had her own thoughts and feelings about the church. Telling her about our experience that day was phenomenal. In fact, every time I see her we talk about Community of Christ and what is happening. She is very happy to see we have found a place where we feel we belong.

Unfortunately not everyone in my life is as happy for me as my mom.  I have friends who are delighted along with other family members. My dad is heartbroken and I understand why. I love him regardless and without condition. Others have been less than thrilled and some have been down right harsh.

You see, I was not upfront with anyone about my doubts and concerns over my membership in the LDS Church. I constantly felt like a square peg trying to be forced into a round hole.  It just wasn't working. I researched other churches and over the years I had visited many denominations. In fact, I attended Granger Christian Church on a fairly regular basis for over a year. It was there that I fully embraced the Savior and acknowledge that without him in my life I cannot be saved. Anyways, I had spent most of my life intrigued by the Community of Christ. It drove my ex-husband and father crazy. I always wanted to know more and was discouraged.   So when I told people I was dealing with a faith crisis they became worried and I noticed a bit of a "circle the wagons" mentality coming up from our ward. So I asked to be left alone to figure it out. I let them know the only thing I needed was prayers to find the answers I was looking for. I highly doubt any of these people realized the direction their prayers would ultimately send me.

About two weeks before we took the step to attend Community of Christ I asked my husband to reach out to his friend for more specific information as to what to expect. I didn't want to walk into this and be blindsided. His friend had left the LDS Church and joined Community of Christ less than a year before and I figured he'd be a good resource. And he was and still is. So walking into church I had a general idea of what to expect. I was still hesitant to actually attend and it took nearly 2 weeks to work up the courage. I'm glad I was daring enough to do something different.

We are still having our usual struggles, but we are finding ways to handle them and make the necessary changes without always running to the bishop for help and advice. We have a new range of friends and feel like we are part of an actual community. Recently my lupus came out of remission These people actually care and have asked what can be done to help us and would we like to be on the prayer roll. I've received a priesthood blessing from a woman who I call friend and guide. In whom I have no doubt was called to the priesthood. Today I joined in a business meeting at church as 5 people had their names put forward to hold a priesthood office. 2 men and 3 women. Only 1 of them I have not had the opportunity to really get to know but I felt the witness that these calls are of God. In fact, with two of them I was surprised that they did not already hold the priesthood office already.

So why change now? Why at 41 years of age did I decide to leave the LDS Church? Quite simply because I am, for the first time in my life, truly following where the Holy Spirit is guiding me. I have placed my life in her hands and asked her to take me to my home here on Earth. She has led me to this amazing congregation and wonderful new friends. She has encouraged me to ask questions and kept my heart open to the new things I need to learn before fully becoming a member of this congregation. I know I have found my home. My religious center. My peace. And my truly relationship with the divine.

I found my Home Sweet Home...