Challenging the Priesthood Authority

January 3, 1997 my third child came into my life. So beautiful and delicate. And determined to do everything her own way as she was the only one of my children to be born late. Now they say when you increase your family from 1 child to 2 children it is the most difficult transition. I forcefully disagree. Adding child number 3 is the hardest. Not only are you now out numbered as parents, but even just doing things alone with 2 kids was easier than 3 (at least at first). She was also the only one that I didn't have anyone around to help with the transition as even my husband had to return to work when she was 3 days old. Know this it will come to no surprise that I became depressed.

The one joy I did have was the bi-monthly YW Presidency Meetings I attended.  Spending time with these amazing women as we worked together to schedule lessons and activities was precious. Plus it gave me time in adult-land. Yes, I left the kids home for dad to "babysit" (FYI for the men out there...if you call caring for your own children babysitting I suggest you reassess your feelings towards them and your spouse). By mid-March my husband had had enough.

After a meeting one Sunday afternoon I was met at home by an angry husband who proclaimed that my calling at church was interfering with my ability to be a mom. He demanded that I ask the bishop to be released. Oh how we fought about this. I finally agreed just to keep the peace.

The next Sunday I met with the bishop during Sunday School.  Here is where the twist occurs. During the previous few months a new bishop had been called. In fact, he is a repeat bishop having served as bishop many years before. I had a lot of respect for him and did not want to meet with him, yet I did. I explained that I needed to be released. He asked why and I explained how my husband felt. I was asked to give him a week to take it under consideration. Sacrament Meeting was not very pleasant and at home I faced a furious husband who accused me of lying when I said I'd asked to be released.

After a tense week Sunday finally rolled around. My husband met with the bishop during Sunday School. When he came out of the bishop's office I knew he was angry. I was also grateful that looks could not kill. He told me the bishop wanted to speak with me. I walked into the bishop's office and sat down Here I was told that I was not being released. He reminded me that the previous week I had spoke about how I felt at peach because I was working with kids. Then he told me to let him know if my husband had any further issues with my calling.  And to top it all of, he dismissed the speakers for Sacrament Meeting. He spoke eloquently about how a husband is required to support his wife in her calling and if anyone felt they could not do that to come see him and he will have something for them.

If I thought the previous week was rough, this week was nearly impossible. I was accused of all manner of attitude and subterfuge with the bishop. That I was making up the truth of what happened. The next Sunday was Easter Sunday. We attended services and nothing was left in the bank. Then we went to my family 's Easter Party. I helped pass out goodies to be found. My husband complained to one of my brothers-in-law about how unfairly our bishop treated him. And that went over like a lead balloon. He had zero supporters in the room.

At home that evening he complained that I made him look week in front of our bishop and my family. I tried to tell him that his actions show how week he is, but I refrained. I told him we just need to redefine our expectations. Naturally this never happened. He stated he was hurt that I attempted to usurp his authority in our family. Is it any wonder we divorced a few years latter.

This was my first real time at confronting the social norms of Priesthood Authority, but it certainly hasn't been my last.