Life after Mormonism

It has been 16 months since I sent in my letter of resignation to the LDS Membership office. I have had moments of second-guessing my decision but I do not regret my decision. 16 months of knowing, I gave up someone else’s view of “life after death”. 16 months of forging my own path and learning to accept the TRUTH rather than the whitewashed truth which I spent a lifetime learning. Accepting the beauty that is in me and around me. Beauty I had never before accepted because I was taught to be “in the world but not of the world”. A lifetime of not truly accepting the consequences of my actions towards the earth and her gifts.

I have lost friends and been shuttled to “outer darkness” by family. The truest have stood beside me and challenged me as I struggled to find my identity as a “no more a Mormon”. I finally found security in believing in who I truly am as I embraced my own sexual identity. In addition, I expressed who I am with an amazing tattoo (with plans for more).

I have found joy in learning a new way to read the scriptures. To find it is ok to look critically at the words and ask the unknown Divine about what I am reading. Scripture finally quit hurting me and I am finally beginning to heal from long ago injuries. I learned that “It is not pleasing to God when any passage of scripture is used to diminish or oppress races, genders, or classes of human beings.” (D&C 163:7c

I have learned to listen in the silence and listen in the noise. Not just for promptings from the Divine but for the call to action that exists all around me. Giving of my time to political campaigns I believe in and attending Pride to show my LGBTQIA+ family that they are loved. Love! I have learned what unconditional love truly feels like after years of being taught that love was conditional.

Physically I have been through some horrible struggles with injury and illness. Mentally I have felt more difficulties than usual, but the ups are lasting longer than they have in years. Moreover, the downs are just that…down times where some self-care is needed. Amidst all of this, there have been joys of new children and loss of friends/family to death.

Joy has been found where it once was lost. Acceptance became a way of living. Peace and justice are a motto I carry. Opening of home and heart as a place of healing for those in pain.

I know pain, heartache, struggle, and death will continue to occur. I look at it differently now. I have found that place of strength others see in me and have embraced it. It is not just within me but all around me as I welcome the full meaning of community and enter its warm embrace.