The further I read the more I came to realize that once again the Patriarchy had struck. Only this time it was such a direct hit to my spirit that it felt as if my heart would break in two. Not only did they not admit that women had once held the priesthood, but they sought to redefine the term "ordain" as set apart. Evidently the Oxford English dictionary has the definition incorrect. It defines ordain as make someone a priest or minister.
Now some of you may be wondering why, if I've left the LDS Church, does this matter to me. And this is why, I have a daughter who is still active within the LDS Church. She is a feminist (or as she puts it, an equalist). We've spoken a little about women and the priesthood and both feel that it will not happen within the LDS Church. That those who wish to hold the priesthood will need to look elsewhere. And yes, I know this attitude isn't that of a typical feminist. If you noticed, I'm not in the LDS Church anymore either.
After a lifetime of being marginalized and treated as less than, this article confirmed to me that the LDS Church has no desire to make any changes. Even though they are noted as the most frequently changing church in the world. In fact, they are going out of their way to belittle the female membership by treating them as if they are incapable of understanding the meaning of the word ordain.
The other reason this bothers me so much is because it is once again the rewriting of history within the LDS Church. You see, as a child my parents had a series of books about the history of the LDS Church. Now these books are pre-1980's. In fact, I believe they got the books sometime back in the 1960's before as much editing had been done. I figure this because in one volume there is mention of Emma Smith being ordained to the office of High Priest. Yet years later when I came across these volumes in an updated version this was missing. All the ordinations of women to priesthood had been removed. I honestly thought I had imagined it and it weighed heavily on my mind. Neither of my parents recalled such a thing, but they hadn't sat for hours and poured over the books like I had.
What this told me then and tells me now is that the church has a deep rooted desire to prevent women from becoming as equals. You can quote the Proclamation to the Family to me all you want, but it still marginalizes married women as needing to be in the home and not working. If a woman is called to a position her husband must consent first. If a woman goes to a priesthood leader with an issue concerning her husband then his word is taken over hers because she is just a woman.
I have seen this marginalization and poor treatment of women throughout my life. I even went along with it for the sake of not making waves in my home. Being admonished repeatedly by men to not question and to just agree with what they know has always felt belittling. Why should I be less than because I was born a woman? Why am I not worthy of the same love, respect, and trust from God as a man? I'm not. The God I believe in and know to love me unconditionally has found me to have inestimable worth. She sees me as a person of strength because I was made in Her image. To say otherwise is disingenuous. To treat me or any other woman as less than is not following the teachings of Christ. Christ, the one who treated all as equals and placed none lower than himself.
I now stand with my brothers and sisters in Christ and say, "It is enough! It is time to stop the veiled hate-filled words. It is time to see we are all equals in the eyes of God!" As for me, each day I am more and more thankful to have left this institution. It does not mean I will stop fighting for the rights of my sisters in Christ. As a seminary teacher once told me to do, "Fight the good fight!" And so I shall.
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