Once again life has thrown my world sideways. These times seem to be the only time I get the urge to blog anymore. That’s ok though. Lately my household has experienced a violation of trust. We try our best to take to heart the scripture passage found in Matthew.:
Matthew 25:35-40 New Revised Standard Version (NRSV)
35 for I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, 36 I was naked and you gave me clothing, I was sick and you took care of me, I was in prison and you visited me.’ 37 Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when was it that we saw you hungry and gave you food, or thirsty and gave you something to drink? 38 And when was it that we saw you a stranger and welcomed you, or naked and gave you clothing? 39 And when was it that we saw you sick or in prison and visited you?’ 40 And the king will answer them, ‘Truly I tell you, just as you did it to one of the least of these who are members of my family,[a] you did it to me.’
We have always been willing to open our home to those we call family. They don’t need to be family by blood either. Just those we consider family. It hasn’t mattered if it is for one night or a few months. We’ve always been willing to help out another. So when a person we considered family asked to stay a few months with us we agreed. Now we did set down some ground rules and they were agreed upon as well as some assistance with the monetary side of things as adding them into the household would cause a financial strain to a certain degree.
This past week this person left our home and it was upon cleaning the humongous mess they left in their wake that we realized how much they abused our trust. Our agreement at the beginning was tossed to the side within a few weeks. We consistently worked to remind them of the agreement. Then they said they were leaving. That day came and went with them still here. It was so frustrating. At that point the idea that they needed to follow house rules (which we all followed) was tossed out the window. No sooner than a room would be cleaned then they would mess it right back up. Absolutely no consideration was given for anything by this person.
This lack of consideration put me on alert. I began to double check things and realized things were not appearing as they should. Something was definitely off in this person and the sense of entitlement became prominent. Groceries would be bought and names written on them for the family member which the food was intended to go to, yet when we would go to get that item it was missing from the pantry, freeze, or refridgerator. When asked, our guest would state he didn’t realize it was for someone. He’d be reminded of the name on the written on the item and there was a claim that it wasn’t noticed. The names were not written on subtly, but boldly and in numerous spots.
It was another 3 weeks before he left. And in his wake we have realized all that was taken for his use without regard to those which the items belonged. It I could list things, but I won’t. Needless to say the financial assistance promised never occurred. Not even when it was evident we were experiencing a financial crisis. Yet this person always seemed to be able to afford alcohol and stuff with which to make cigarettes. If I were to count up the monetary value of all that was agreed upon and all that was taken for his enjoyment it would be in the thousands.
So where does this leave us now? Heartbroken and devastated. Faith in the decency of people is gone. At least faith in him is gone. So is any semblance of trust. It isn’t often that I state I would never let someone into my home, but that is his status at this point. I would not let him in my home again under any circumstances. My heart was smashed and I will not give it to one such as him again.
It hurts even more to know that his actions have ended a friendship. He made so many choices that were self serving whilst claiming to be the one who will always jump in to help another. It just isn’t believable any more. Welcomed with love and acceptance for who he is in his imperfection. Now all I can do is pray that wherever he lands that he does not mistreat those he is with the same way he treated us.
My cynicism is strong right now. I believe in fighting for those who society views as less than...because they aren’t less than anyone. But helping him out meant learning that at times I am too trusting and naive even now. It is a hard lesson to keep learning when you are middle aged. For now I’ll keep practicing what is taught in the scriptures. I’ll do it because it is what is right. It means for that one person who was able to experience it in our home these past few months that he will have those memories but he will not be invited or welcomed back to it again. Actions have consequences or blessings depending on the action.
I’ll sit back and read the poem which was inspired, I believe, in some way by these verses in Matthew. The poem also inspired the hymn “A Poor Wayfaring Man of Grief”. The poem was written in 1826 by James Montgomery and is titled “The Stranger and His Friend”.
