Growing up Mormon meant there are some traditional Christian practices that I never experienced. To me Advent was just a calendar. And Lent was this weird thing that my non-Mormon friends did. They would talk about having ashes put on their foreheads and not eating meat for 40 days. I could never get my head wrapped around it. But then again, I never tried. It just wasn't something I was interested in learning.
Years later I found myself working for in a grocery store deli. My manager was a practicing baptist. I was curious about her religious practices and we talked frequently about the differences. She never tried to sway me just as I never tried to sway her. I gained a great respect for her beliefs over the months we worked together. Then one evening she stopped in the store and she had ashes on her forehead. I asked about it and she said it was for Ash Wednesday. There was no further discussion until the next day when I asked her what Ash Wednesday was about. To be honest I don't remember much other than it being the jumping off point for Lent. So I asked about Lent and she told me it is a time to challenge yourself to become closer to Christ. She stated she was giving up her daily jalapeño poppers in an effort to improve her health. That was the first time I decided to try out this whole Lent idea. I figured I'd give up my beloved Dr Pepper for 40 days. That didn't last more than a couple of days. And I figured I'd just read my scriptures more instead. I wasn't quite grasping the concept.
I decided Lent wasn't for me. It seems a bit fanatical and I really didn't want to give up anything. I had fallen headlong into the trap that Lent equaled giving up something. I was missing the fact that Lent is meant to be transformative.
This brings us to five years ago. I was attending church with my best friend at Granger Christian Church. To this day I'm grateful for every Sunday I spent with these amazing people. I have a great love for them and their patience with me. It was here that I first started to understand what Lent actually means. I remember thinking I'd give up my nearly daily cheeseburger at work for healthier options. And I succeeded. I also noticed that during this time I was thinking more about Christ and his purpose. I was finally starting to develop that connection to the Divine.
Since then I've haphazardly looked at Lent and have actually felt disappointed when I realized the Lenten season had started. I'd pull my scriptures out and read about Christ. But my heart wasn't fully into it. I knew there was more to it than I was getting out of it.
This year is my first year in a new faith and feeling I can truly call myself a Christian. I have been reading and preparing myself for these 40 days. I've found meaning in this number, 40, and wishing I'd had it a couple years ago when my own age hit 40. After all, the scriptures note that it rained for 40 days and Jesus fasted in the desert for 40 days. And both of these instances a transformation of the relationship with the Divine occurred. That means I need to take these 40 days and begin my own transformation.
I have made the choice to quit eating or drinking anything except water by 8:30pm each evening. This has health benefits as my body won't be trying to digest as I go to bed. Therefore the calories won't be stored as fat. I. Have noticed my sleep has been better and I'm waking feeling more refreshed. And this is just 2 days in. I also find that I am looking for more positives in the world and trying to be more supportive and helpful to those around me. I'm also finding that my mind is calmer and I am more focused. This is helping me both at work and at home. It is also helping as I study and prepare for my Sunday School lessons.
Now why do I go into all of this. Well it has to do with a meme I've seen all over Facebook the last few days. 
There was a time where I would have thoughtlessly shared this meme. It would've been out of sheer ignorance and unwillingness to take the time to truly understand what Lent means. And I would've been wrong. Seeing so many of my LDS friends sharing this has hurt a little, but it's ok. I've said and shared plenty that has hurt them and I am sorry for that. While Lent was not practiced at the time of Christ's life, I still find the practice to be one of worth. I'm learning that not giving up something for 40 days only to return to it on day 41 isn't the best route. I'm learning that making a change to my life that can lead to a change of habit (6 weeks is a good amount of time to change a habit). Best of all it is putting me in a frame of mind to be able to actively engage in understand who the Divine is and to deepen that personal relationship. And I am looking forward to this journey.
